Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Sorrow behind the smile

All this time, I always thought that I'm an independent person. Little that I realized, without the help from people around me, I won't be where I am today. There were days in my life when I looked around me late at night, a feeling of lost overwhelmed me. Tears started to roll down from my cheek and soon I found myself sobbing under my blanket like a baby. Those were the days when I missed the comfort of home.

Time really flies when you enjoyed it. It felt like yesterday that I just flown back from Kuching to my hometown and in another two weeks or 14 days or 336 hours, I will bid my family goodbye and continue my journey. 2 months time just flown like that. Damn it. Days by days passed without my realization or should I said that I had lived in denial. 24 hours a day is never enough for me. I need more time to be with my family, to enjoy the freedom of life before I tie down to my busy study schedule.

If I was asked what superhero ability that I wanted to have, my answer definitely would be the ability to turn back time. I'm happy for the way my life had turned out to be, the only reason I wanted to travel back in time is I wanted to do some things when I was given the chance. Looking back, I felt stupid to let time flies and let those opportunities slipped away from my palm. Why didn't I grab those chances and save this regret? It's no use crying over spill milk.

Maybe I should start planning for my future and treasure my past. But I can't seem to let go of the past. I wanna go back and do what I should do. I'll study harder for my final. I'll spend more time with him. Haih, what's the point of me wishing all this. I can't turn back the time no matter what. I should come out of my hidding space and face the world with my head held high.

Whatever happened, it happened for reasons. Right?

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