Friday, September 24, 2010

Friday but I'm not excited.

It's Friday but somehow this feels like the longest Friday ever. Everything seemed to be moving in a slow pace, not that I'm complaining but it gave me too much time to ponder on stuff that I shouldn't have to. I tried to nap but failed. I went to the pool for a dip but it was closed. Been planning to go for a swim but something always got in the way, I guess I have to wait till another time maybe. I miss the comfort of water.

Classmates had planned a Raya visiting tomorrow but I'm not exactly in the mood for visiting. Plus, with the amounts of assignments and midterms I have next week, I'm kinda freaking out. I always feels so tense when the semester is coming to its end. Same thing happened last semester where I had 13 assignments needed to be done, I'd survived that and I'm sure I'll survive this one too. Just the thoughts of those amounts of works scare me, not to forget my Final Year Project too and my student life is dreadfully coming to its end as well.

Right now, life's good but something doesn't feel right and I have no idea what it is. I felt this way before, the first few days I reached home. Perhaps it's just me trying to take in the transformation and the changes. It took awhile for me to get used to everything. I was happy to be back but felt lost at the same time. The same thing is happening right now.

I just realized I can't sit still doing nothing at home or else I'll start to overthink some stuff which will turn me very emotional. Like the moment when I found out my laptop screen cable broke down, I felt like the whole world was crushing down. Tears formed automatically in my eyes and couldn't stop rolling down my cheeks.

Sound pathetic, I know. And I know very well the reason I cried was not only because of my laptop, I'd been trying to hold everything but I failed. I was an inch away from totally breaking down, and the disappointment from my laptop had pushed me, resulting in my nonstop sobbing. Watching The Sister's Keeper that night was a big mistake too. I was practically crying bucket. It felt good to let go of all the emotion once in a while. It may not change any circumstances but it sure make me feel better.

Phew, that sure is a lot for you guys to take in. Told ya, I'm rambling a lot when I have nothing to do or the truth, I have tons of stuffs to do but not in the mood. Happy weekend people.

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