Friday, September 23, 2011


I know I had been missing from blogsphere world for a while. I was away for work training for a week and I stupidly decided not to bring my laptop because I know I will be busy seeing friends, shopping and attending training. But fret not, cause now I'm back.

Will do a proper update soon because now I have to rush to work and have 400 pages of notes to go through for my insurance licensing exam tomorrow. Wish me luck! 

Sunday, September 11, 2011

What made my week

Despite my roller coaster emotion ride these past week, I still managed to find some little things that cheered me up in my everyday life. Be it some stupid jokes or a simple gesture, what matters is I feel happy again. These are the simple things made my week better: 

1. Fooling around with my lil sister

Told you, we're fooling around a lot. There's actually a lot more retarded pictures of us but I shall keep that to ourselves. Enough public embarrassing pictures of us. 

2. Mango pudding and warm weather

3. Good food and great company

There's one more thing that definitely can cheer me up (read: retail therapy) but I'm on my shopping ban now. I decided to not buy anything in September because I'm saving for something (a graduation gift for myself). One whole month without any new tops/skirts/pants/bags/shoes/accessories is suck. I have to refrain myself from going out window shopping these days.

Yesterday I went to Toledo with lil sis and they have lots of new arrivals. It's not helping too that the personal shopper brought a whole lots of outfits to our fitting room T.T Plus I tried on a heels which came in my size. It was perfect for work and outing. But I couldn't afford that right now. Okay, I must stay strong and not giving in to any sales right now. 19 days more before I can properly shop. 19 days! 

No string attached

The past few weeks had been rough for me. It was nothing serious, just an internal conflict about my personal life. Moving on is not as easy as it was before. I'd been there last year, it was not easy but I managed to get back on my feet within a short period, if not wiser, stronger. I never allow myself to be buried down far longer than I should. I cried, I mopped, I cursed, I thought thing through and got back on track. No big deal.

This time it is different. I never realized how dependent I am with this person. Anything happened in my life, this person is the first to know and vice versa. We are each other pillars of strength. But lately it had came to term that we're rely too much on each other that it started to hurt both of us. We both need space to grow, to find our own way in life. We tried but when one of us is down, we're back to square one. Maybe I should stop being there for this person and stop running to him whenever something come up. I wish I have the determination. I did it before but why couldn't I this time?

I need to find my own strength, I need to break free or else I'll stuck here forever. No strings attached is suck, I should foresee this long time ago. I was too head strong thinking that I can handle all the emotions. But looks who's tearing up now? Serve me right, eh?

Enough mopping around for myself. There's so much more out there in life that waiting for me to discover. Wonderful experience, colorful journey, etc.. I just need to recollect myself and get back on my feet. Cheers to myself.

Maybe you guys had noticed that my post were all emo these few weeks. I rarely talk about what's really going on in my personal life. I keep everything to myself and buried them in my chest. I'm no superwoman, in the end, everything reemerged and eating me inside out. I couldn't handle everything on my own, thus channeling it through this space. I promise I will be better tomorrow.

Thursday, September 8, 2011


The situation feels so familiar. We were introduced and hit it off. I thought I'd gained another group of friend. How wrong was I? Somewhere along the line, I feel suffocated. I feel like I am being cornered.  

But why do I keep feeling like I went through this before? Oh yeah, I did. A year ago, same situation, same circle but different friend.

It's a total dejavu.

I have a lot in my mind right now, still struggling hard to pull things through. Honeymoon is over, it's time for reality check and I really have a lot of prioritize to be done, mentally and emotionally.  

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The uncertain spark

It's been a while.
Tonight is one of those nights where I'm feeling down all of sudden.
The feeling is so familiar yet I couldn't tell what's wrong.
Everything is fine, it's just me. Me, my head and my heart.
We argue about almost everything. The head is strong but the heart doesn't seems to follow.
These sappy songs in the background brings back too many memories.
The random talks, the midnight dates, the laughter, the tears.
The missed dates, the silent treatments, the fights, the ignorance.
It bothers the heart.
Then comes the 'what if?'
Neither the head or the heart has the answer.

None of these seem to make sense.
Perhaps a good night sleep is all I need.
Hope the unconscious mind will stop making the vivid dreams.
Good night world.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Favorite week

I only have till next week to hang out/watching movies/shopping/brunch/dinner/lim teh/gossiping with my friends before almost everyone of them flying off to other states/countries for study leaving me here alone. Man, time flies. Their 2 months holiday are coming to end soon. I will miss them dearly. Chances are, I will see them again probably during Chinese New Year 2012. That's freaking 5 months more!

I don't want to get emo like last time where I sobbed like a kid when I had to leave my friends back at Kuching. Just realized that I get attached too easy. Once I made friends, I treat them as friend. But not everyone are worth  my time and energy, just saying anyway cause I felt used way too many times. Lesson learnt, I'll stop giving people my best interest unless they really earn it.

Anyway, here's the highlight of things I had been up to lately.

Moi struggling hard during yoga

Went for hair wash at Re-Move Hair Studio

Lots of brunches date with hubby and lil sis 

Drove all the way to Bintulu for Sushi King because sushi in Sibu is sucks. hehe

Loving the familiar green tea taste

This week is my favorite week cause I have 3 days of holidays. I enjoyed waking up late and doing nothing. I'm such a lazy bum, I know. But mind you, I am rejuvenating myself. LOL.

Before I forgot, Selamat Hari Raya & Happy Independence Day to Malaya (not Malaysia obviously).